Too Familiar Movie Cliches...

Well, hey there!
Don't look now, but it is the start of another GREAT week!

While we were all participating in Earth Hour this past weekend - Tell me you did participate, right? I actually went above and beyond (Because that's what I do) and celebrated Earth Hour for not one measly hour, but TWO!

Today, we are going to talk about movies...Cliches, often seen in movies that is...I have a couple of 'Beefs' and this post is being syndicated elsewhere across the Web - let the concerns be known.

Let's go!

And Now For Our Feature Presentation:
As you may be aware, I absolutely love discussing movies and I do spend time (When, where available) reading movie reviews and Blogs about movies. Call it a past time hobby of sorts. More often than not, I am usually befuddled after reading movie reviews as they are usually not definitive. I have started a task of sending a personal email to movie reviewers questioning their position.

Really, this chastisement started some time back - when I argued with a Seattle Times Reporter about his published list of "Greatest Sci-Fi Movies of All Time" article (It strangely lacked The Matrix in his definition - several iconic debates followed).

I am never clear if they (Movie Reviewer) is "For" or "Against" a movie. For once, I would love to hear one openly exclaim, "Don't waste your time on this one" or "Wait until it comes out on DVD" or "Do you have better things to do? Because you should do them rather than see this debacle". Do not need to read what the movie is about - I can see this within the trailer - just tell me the bottom line...

Down In Front!
Alright, so you are in theater (No thanks to the "Movie Reviewers") and the commercials slides are rolling, the popcorn is being eaten, the lights dim, the trailers begin, and your movie starts. Fun!

You are having soo much fun that you forgot what movie you arrived to see - I like when that happens, because it's a nice surprise when the movie actually starts!

Everything is moving along and you are completely vested in the storyline and the characters, then all of a sudden WAAH WAAAH...

What happened?! The movie started off great the characters were being folded into the story, there's comprehensive dialog, the concept had such interesting potential and then something tragic: THE CLICHE. Now all of a sudden what could have been great (As you imagined in your head) is only mediocre, at best. Welcome to what I call the 'Mindless Bender'.

Careful, Your Cliche Is Showing.
As an advocate of providing concerned solutions (When a problem arises) - here are a few obvious notable grumbles (Warning proceed with caution: 'Reckless Satire' to ensue...)

1. The Foreign Bad Guy: Why is the 'Bad Guy' always non-American? Better, why is he always British? I am certain there are good looking deviants of the American persuasion.
   
   Even better, why does it have to be a HE at all? I mean, surely there are plenty of females out there as well bent on holding the world hostage for trillions of dollars with their top secret Uber weapon and diabolical infernal plans made in vain to be foiled by a hapless goober, just the same. Female villains should get equal time...Let's get creative people!
   


2. The Captured Love Interest: The love interest always gets captured by the 'Bad Guy'...usually as a last measure, last minute desperation. More recently it has become the daughter of the hero - propelling our hero into 'tough guy' dialog (Usually transpiring on phone, for some reason they always call). Again, I would love to see a Female Hero that must rescue the man as 'Captured un-suspecting, helpless victim' (-?).
   


3. The Hysterical Female: Movies portray females as superficial, one-dimensional 'Props' with lack of control of their emotions. For the record let it be known, most females do not run around screaming and crying out of control, nor wait around helplessly to be rescued when the plan goes awry- this is morbidly beyond ridiculous.
   
   Why, I know of several independents that would not hesitate to throw blows, if possible - girls can play tough as well...
   


4. The Woman Scorned: Again, most females in movies are only allowed to be 'Bad' to the extreme of being portrayed as Psychotic because she was scorned by her 'Lover'. Grossly over thought, but why can't she just be a mindless sociopath without reason like most of her male counterparts? My point, Jason could just as well be Jeanine or Freddie could easily be Fredericka...Surprise!
   


5. The Car Chases: Why are they completely over the top and mandatory in every Action film? Do not misunderstand, I am all for a good chase. However, it would be stunning to see the perpetrators crash - end of movie - followed by a PSA announcing the hazards of reckless driving and endangerment.
   


6. The "Zero" Personality Hero: Must he always be steely, full of sarcastic one liners and unlikeable (Except always strangely liked by the single and only female character)-? I am just saying, is there ever a 'Friendly, easy going hero' that everyone likes and would like to be around? Having said, we need BETTER looking Heroes - Let's have some great looking leading men, rather than the old, saggy muscled or a fuzzy little bald guy.
   


7. 'The Few, The Proud - Be All You Can Be': Action movies always have a constant Military sequitur. Why does every Action movie always have some type of military presence. Either by lead character: I'm a Secret Agent, Government Op, former/ex Marine, Soldier or by the equipment/setting- Iron Man, Transformers, Transporter, Bourne Identity, James Bond, Mission Impossible). Action movies are great recruitment tools - We get it...
   


8. The Future: Movies about the future always have a couple of items that are 'Cool', but always fall short. For example, the movie 'The Minority Report' - Great transparent touch screens, eye scan technology (For personalized shopping), and vertical freeways - but they use Billiard Balls for determining future assailants and paper files on desks?! More important than continuity problems, are we still expending trees to use paper in the future, rather, are there trees in the future?
   
   Furthermore, let's all agree on the future. Is it run by machines, SkyNet/AI mainframe, replicants, or rebels - is it barren wasteland (Mad Max) or always dark and rainy (Blade Runner) - are we driving in Lexus hybrid cars on the road, flying in personal devices, teleportation, or traveling to distant planets in corporate subsidized clunky space vessels - most important, is the food Organic or Synthetic?
   
   One thing for sure, we know that the Gap still exists because in every Sci-Fi movie, people are always wearing Cargo pants and Khakis!
   


9. The Bad Guy Wins: Finally, I would love to see a movie where the villain does not die in a perilous, indignant manner (Never happens until the end of the movie, of course). What if instead the 'Baddie' triumphs in a grandiose, spectacular fashion and actually succeeds in his/her plan to take over the world only to discover it was not what they had hoped after all? As they say, you win some - you lose some...
   
   

My final comment for the great screenplay writers (That I one day aspire to be), keep fighting to preserve your vision in your stories, the studio execs will eventually come around (Myself included) to realize that just maybe it's not always about profits - Ah, who am I kidding ;)