Yo Ho Ho!

Shiver Me Timbers, I hope you have sea legs or at least your Dramamine handy as Pirate Master is set to test your inner "Arrrrrgh".

The latest ambitious reality project from fellow producer Mark Burnett's production company. Burnett's people assure this not Survivor on a boat and here is what CBS(Network) had to say:

Pirate Master will send 16 modern-day pirates on a high seas adventure where they will live as buccaneers and travel around the Caribbean island of Dominica in search of hidden treasure that will total $1 million.

Yeah, that sounds like my entire childhood - except it was called 'family vacation'; I had a very exotic up-bringing...

Over the course of a month, these contestant pirates will live aboard a massive 179 foot, square-rigged barque which carries 12,500 square feet of sail.

I had a chance to check out the pictures of the rig and it is a beautiful vessel and it reminded me of my first family trip to San Francisco (My favorite city) when I was a kid to the famed S.F. Maritime National Historical Park.

The vessel docked in the park was the cargo ship named, "Balclutha" and 301 feet - at the time that was the largest boat in which I had ever seen, and it was amazing.

You can read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balclutha_(1886)

The Apprentice On a Boat
Anyway, the amateur actors competing in silly costumes (I mean pirates)will embark on expeditions with clues to find a missing treasure. Each week, one lucky pirate will become captain and in charge of the ship and will assign tasks to the crew.

Apparently as you can imagine, these conditions will naturally (or, unnaturally depending on whom you ask) create high drama, sabotage and mutiny or as I like to call it, "Good Television".

Each episode will end with an epic Pirates Court where someone will be voted off - hmm, that sounds familiar.

The show premieres tonight at 8 PM ET/PT on CBS.

The Next Best Thing?

What do you get when you mix a panel of judges (1-affable likable 'dawg', 1-sweet passive aggressive flower and 1-brutal realist), a loquacious host, amateur talent, and a voting public?

American Idol.

Not exactly, that's just the "Talent" competition formula and ABC's new show, "The Next Best Thing: Who is the Greatest Celebrity Impersonator?" is trying to be the next Idol style show to vie for your "I can be a part of the show by voting" attention.

Let The Impersonation Begin
I have several friends, some celebrity and some not. The funny thing is that my non-celebrity friends are often mistaken for the real ones and the real ones go to a great extent NOT to be recognized.

So, naturally that leads me to conclude that REAL celebrities do not make a spectacle of themselves and try their best to lead normal lives. Okay, this has nothing to do with ABC's new show and really could be an entirely different post, so I will get back on track...

According to the ABC Press Release: "The Next Best Thing: Who is the Greatest Celebrity Impersonator?, a diabolically outrageous and raucously entertaining new show"

Not So Fast
First I love the word "raucously", just never have a chance to use it in a sentence. Typically the word "diabolically" (An adverb of the adjective Diabolical) means bad in a scheming sort of way let's just say, does it not? Why would anyone admit this from the start? Perhaps the marketing department was attempting to be 'tongue and cheek' in the slick grandiose choice of words - the viewers will ultimately decide and that's guaranteed.

Really, the idea is nothing new - we all have been to talent competitions and chances are you may have been to a celebrity impersonation show in your city or while on vacation. However, have you EVER been to a celebrity impersonation talent competition that was televised?

The Sanjaya Factor
Yes, footage from the open auditions will be televised - because what fun would any of this be? Early contestants will be impersonating well known celebs such as James Bond(-?), Superman(-?), Dolly Parton, Bono, Lucille Ball, Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie and will perform an "Act" in front of a panel judges. Sound familiar?

The invited contestants will be performing another "Act" before a live studio audience with commetary from the gallery (aka panel of judges). The finalists will be whittled down (As always) for a chance to win $100,000 - the winner will be determined by the viewers at home (Of course). If the show does well, you can expect ANOTHER season, but let's just get through this one.

The show airs Wednesday night on ABC.

Your Summer of Reality Fun

So, the upfronts were announced a couple of weeks prior to this post and from what we have seen, it's promising to be a great summer of reality viewing.

For Your Viewing Pleasure
For those who love reality TV, your dream summer has arrived and we are going to see a few popular favorites returning to the screen - in fact, there are so many shows returning this summer they could easily rival the equivalent slate of the big screen sequels.

Personally, I could not be more thrilled to be involved with such an active summer line-up. I am beaming with confidence that you will be spending all of those hot summer nights watching prime-time shows...Reality shows, of course.

Here are the shows that have been confirmed (The shows in bold are new first run):

• On the Lot (FOX, 5/22)


• So You Think You Can Dance (FOX, 5/24)


• The Simple Life 5 (E!, Monday, 5/28)


• America’s Got Talent (NBC, 5/29)


• The Next Best Thing (ABC, 5/30)


• Pirate Master (CBS, 5/31)


• The Next Food Network Star 3 (FOOD, 6/3)


• Hell’s Kitchen 3 (FOX, 6/4)


• Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (BRAVO, 6/5)


• American Inventor 2 (ABC, 6/6)


• Top Chef 3 (BRAVO, 6/6)


• Last Comic Standing 5 (NBC, 6/13)


• Ice Road Truckers (WE, 6/17)


• Age of Love (NBC, 6/18)


• Hey Paula (Bravo, 6/28)


• Big Brother 8 (CBS, Not Yet Scheduled)


• Design Star 2 (HGTV, 7/22)


• Who Wants to be a Superhero 2 (Sci Fi, 7/25)


• Power of 10 (CBS, Not Announced)

Not to worry if you did not see your favorite on the list - the above is simply what has been confirmed for summer 2007. Many shows will be returning next season (Project Runway, ANTM, The Amazing Race, Survivor, et al).

Keeping Up With The Pirates
This season on the small screen will be competing with all of the blockbuster sequels on the big screen (Which incidentally is already experiencing record profits well into the billions). We have no choice but to "Bring It" on the TV side - and the best part is, we deliver and you don't even need to leave the sofa...Let the games begin!

Movie TV Shows

The other night my friend and I were watching "Kill Bill" - one of my favorite Tarantino films - and I started thinking, "Hey, this would make a great TV show".

Not sure about you, but at the end of every movie my creativity begins and I am usually the one thinking about what happens after the ending. Okay, so the guy gets the girl and they ride off into the sunset - THEN WHAT?! Do they get married, have children, grow tired of each other and get divorced - what?

A part of me really would like the story to go on, but not in a sequel because by the time that is made, I have lost interest in the story. I may be saying too much here, but movies should continue onto the small screen.

Everything is about Television...
Given my excitement for yet what I believe to be another great idea - My friend and I started talking about a few movies that would make interesting TV shows.

Just imagine the 26 weeks of drama and compelling storylines if the following movies were weekly shows:

• Kill Bill (A tale of a woman's revenge)
• Pulp Fiction (The adventures of 2 hit men - Jules & Vincent)
• The Matrix (The "Rabbit Hole" on USA Network)
• The Transporter (Action Packed on F\X)
• Forrest Gump (Could be inspirational - Run ABC, Run)
• Monster-In-Law (This would make a great CBS Comedy)
• Triple X (Starring a Vin Diesel look-a-like=Another one for ABC)
• Alien (Sci-Fi Network)

More Recent:

• Shreck (Animated series on FOX)
• Harry Potter (University life with the Goblets)
• Fantastic Four (Why not? NBC already has Heroes)
• Spiderman (The adventures of Peter Parker - the family man)
• Pirates of the Caribbean (Yaar - weekly pillaging of Capt. Jack)
• Mr. & Mrs. Smith (ABC) and Terminator (FOX) are already in production.

You Heard It Here First
I could go on, but you get the idea. So, the next time you are watching your favorite movie think about how it could become a great TV show...Then, call me...

Quiet On The Set...

I had just received a phone call from an associate about a new show called, "On The Lot". Well, it's not really a "New" show, but to the viewing public it's going to be fun to watch.

Another Reality Show
Yes. This particular show, co-produced by Stephen Spielberg (The reality show grasp has him now), is about filmmaker hopefuls that will compete against elimination for a grand prize of a million dollar development deal with DreamWorks - already, that's an amazing reward for an aspiring filmmaker. Of course, a million dollars is not much in today's creative landscape, however the idea is that a new filmmaker will be able to get a foot in the door and begin a new dream career.

Over the past several months contestants were encouraged to upload their mini-masterpieces to the website and according to the Fox website stats, there were over 12,000 submissions from more than 30 countries around the world.

Following The Dream
I perused the list of some 50 semi-finalists and just under half are residing in L.A. (Not a big surprise). Further, 40 out of the 50 are already working professionally in the film industry (Again, not a big surprise).

So, does that mean that only people in L.A. knew about the contest? Are people outside of L.A., not working in the film industry, just not interested in a film career? Maybe I am reading more into this than I should, but considering I attended film school in Seattle, Washington, I am always interested in success outside of what would be considered "The norm". Incidentally, there is one contestant on the list from Seattle - make me proud!

The regular one-hour "Idol" style show will feature the movies submitted by the candidates, which could be as entertaining as watching YouTube or AcceptableTV (VH1) for an hour. Then, the next night called the "Box Office" will be the results show - you will also have an opportunity to vote for your favorite flicks, as well.

Will the show be a hit? That's up to you to decide. At any rate, it will provide mainstream exposure for new filmmakers. Sure there is the web, but really can you create a successful career as a movie mogul based solely on the web? TV is where it's at, but I'm biased...

The show will air Tuesday (May 22, 2007) on Fox.

Caavemaaan!

You may have heard, this week the networks are announcing the "upfronts" (New shows on the schedule) for this fall.

Of course, included on the ABC schedule is the highly anticipated show: Cavemen. You know, those amusing sapiens from commercial fame (I thought "Sapiens" would be a great name for the show - ABC didn't).

Which had me thinking, "When was the last time we saw a caveman on TV in a series?"- No really, it's been quite some time. Back in the late 70's/ early 80's there was a cartoon called, Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels (Hanna-Barbera Productions).

Being an Angel myself, when I was a baby, that show would be on and I remember him always yelling, "Captain CAAAAVEMAAAAN! That phenomenal exclamation was the voice of none other than the great Mel Blanc. Ironically, this show also aired on ABC (I think ABC has something for cavemen, but that's another post for another time).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Caveman_and_the_Teen_Angels

So 40,000 Years Later...
According to the Encyclopedia, Cro-magnon man (Homo Sapiens) lived on the earth only a mere 40,000 years prior to this post - which does not seem all that long. For some reason, I thought we had evolved billions of years (Wishful thinking I suppose), but it's only been 40,000...I am soo disappointed and yet it explains everything.

Anyway, back to Sapiens - I mean "Cavemen" see how easy that was? ABC has released a clip of the show and provided a nice synopsis about the program. Now before I send you off to ABC, a little side note: These are obviously not your beloved magnons from the insurance company commercials - you have been warned (I had an issue accepting the new actors - it's just not them, but maybe the regulars were not available).

Also keep in mind the writers are humans, therefore the dialog is somewhat "Modern" in it's colloquialisms. According to the ABC page for the show, "...hilarious and thought-provoking social commentary on race relations in today's America". Were there not sapiens in other countries and why do we need to have social commentary on race relations in a sitcom featuring cavemen? What do I know...

Alright, here's the link:
http://abc.go.com/fallpreview/cavemen/index?u=0

The show is on the schedule for fall 2007 on ABC.

Know Any Good Bands?

People all over town have been asking and after months of silence, I am now able to talk about the new show "The Next Great American Band".

The Idol Magic
Earlier this week, fellow producers at 19 Entertainment announced a new American Idol style band search and why not? The Next Great American Band (American Band) is a spin-off of American Idol which is a modern, re-hashed version of Ed McMahon's Star Search. AI is arguably one of THE most popular network reality competition shows of all time. Really, nothing more than a talent competition re-applied to different concepts.

I really loved Star Search as a kid and dreamed of being one day on the show. Junior Singer?, Dancer?, Comedian?, Model? - Nope, I was eyeing Ed McMahon's job as THE HOST...Seacrest, I'm watching you...

It's Still Rock-n-Roll To Me
The new competition will involve scouring the country to find the best "undiscovered" band. I have heard this concept thousands of times and have seen many renditions of this format, more recently the CBS Morning Show even had a similar competition.

A panel of judges (Ala "Simon like") will pour through the contestants in the auditions and determine the 10 semi-finalists who will compete on the show in front of a live studio audience. Audience members and viewers at home will get to vote for their favorite - sound Idol familiar?

Where Are The Real Musicians?
This version of competition is for bands, albeit "Garage", where there are actual musicians at least two or three of the members must play instruments. Sorry new up and coming boy bands, this may not be your ticket, unless you can play an instrument. Where was this show 15 years ago? Even better would New Edition, New Kids on The Block, N'Sync, Back Street Boys, 98 Degrees and LFO have made it through the fire of a panel of judges and a viewing audience of voters? Ah, what do we know.

We are looking at a possible Fall schedule for the program. Stay tuned...

Who Said That?

Alas, you always read of my adventures and thoughts about Reality TV. So tonight, thought I would turn the tables on you this evening...

According to your emails and comments, you are a great fan of Reality shows (me too). But, let's test your skill and intuition about your favorite exploits with the emphasis on THE REALITY SHOW 'CATCHPHRASE'.

Nothing has been more fun as of late than coming with a clever one liner for a show. Especially the liners that have the power to kiss-off (I mean dismiss) a contestant from the show completely.

As funny as they may seem in the context in which they are used, some catchphrases are the actual name of the show. However, some also happen quite by accident (The Apprentice) - I mean you can't really fire someone whom you have never hired, nor does a job interview really take 13 weeks (Applicants would go broke, for crying out loud); but that's just a minor HR technicality.

Get To Know Your Liners
Not to worry, if you watch Reality TV (I know you do!) you should pass this little test without any problem. On the other hand, if you are not certain about more than one liner, then naturally your homework assignment is to watch at least one episode for each one you missed. If the show of the phrase is no longer on the air (There are a few), you may substitute viewing time with another show.

Ready? Let's get started
Name the title of the show from which the following catchphrases are used:

"You are expelled"
"The tribe has spoken"
"Fear is not a factor for you"
"Pack up your knives and go"
"See you later, decorator"
"That was your last cut"
"Either you're in or you're out. And you're out"
"You're fired"
"Today's secret ingredient is..."
"You will be going home tonight"
"You are the _____. Goodbye"
"Will you accept this rose?"
"It's time to cut the fat"
"You just don't fit in"
"You've just been_______"
"Your time is up"
"____Knows Best"
"Are you smarter than _____?"
"____or No____"
"You are no longer in the running to become__________"

Or, the reverse:
"Congratulations, you are still in the running to become______"


Finished - So, how did you do?

The Final 4

So, this is the week of the Final 4

For you sports fans, you typically revere the Final 4 as your NCAA championship of the top competitors for the title. Well, we are talking about an entirely different event - THE REALITY SHOW FINAL 4.

This year/ season is very unique because we have several shows that are in the midst of four remaining hopefuls:

1. American Idol (FOX) - Let's see there is Melinda, Jordin, Lakisha, and Blake. The final four singing hopefuls will be announced tonight, "Dawg".

2. America's Next Top Model (CW)- I know, I have mentioned a thousand times (At least) this is my favorite show and I try to watch every episode. Who's left? Dionne, Jaslene, Natasha, and Renee. I will be watching!

3. The Bachelor 10 (ABC) - So, adorable Andy travelled the country to meet the parents of Amber, Bevin, Daniella, and Tessa. Oh, I have been informed that Amber did not receive a rose the other night and it appears only the remaining 3 will be accompanying Andy back to Hawaii - Aloha.

4. Dancing With The Stars (ABC) - Ian & Cheryl, Laila & Maksim, Apolo & Julianne, Joey & Kym. The season semi-final round featuring Ballroom and Latin routines will air next Monday. Get your dancing shoes on...

Now if Bravo would accelerate Shear Genius (Curly or Straight), we could have another Final 4 competition and another perfect week of Reality for May sweeps...

You gotta love it.

The Greatest Sci-Fi Movie Ever

Last Thursday, Entertainment Weekly named, "The Matrix" as the best Sci-Fi film of the past 25 years. I would agree and I am not just saying that because it is my favorite movie, but the announcement had me thinking.

Several years prior, I had an elaborate argument with an inept Seattle Times film critic, I will call him "Barney".

This "Barney" published his list of top films of 1999. Conspicuously, the list was missing one key film - The Matrix. Naturally I responded and questioned his list and the absence of The Matrix. The critic responded that he did not particularly like Keanu Reeves and that he found the story completely unbelievable. WHAT?!

I don't know about you, but I usually don't believe that the movies that I watch are real..."Barney" was allowing his personal feelings for the star of the film as an excuse to leave a great movie off of his list. I fired back to "Barney" that The Matrix was by far the greatest Sci-Fi film of all time and raised the standard enormously in field of special effects with it's stunning imagery. "Barney" smacked that he thought Star Wars was THE best - yeah, back in 1977!

The Matrix created a whole new level of convergence between computer digital animation and film - No other movie had such a successful combination of several complex elements. This movie with it's deeply layered storyline and evolutionary, but flawed characters combined a masterpiece of intellect and visual eye candy.

The Matrix (Original) attempted to present a story of value to meaningful and real questions that we as humans constantly ask, "Who am I, Why am I here, What is my purpose, Is there something more?".

I had seen the movie in the theater with a former boyfriend when it was first released in 1999. We sat through the entire movie mesmerized to the point that we could not speak. I still remember the opening sequence of the movie with Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) kicking butt - and thinking to myself, "What is this movie about?" and soon, "Wow - I've never seen anything like this...".

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Wookies, Ewoks, Skywalkers, and Robots but they are far less believable. The characters of Star Wars with all of the be-bops, boops, and growls reminded me of the stuffed animals I had as child - in a galaxy far, far away...

The best Sci-Fi movies are ALWAYS the ones that take place on Earth. We are curious to see what our state of being will be in the future, maybe it gives us hope or at least some artificial satisfaction for the questions that we are all asking ourselves. For this reason, The Matrix IS the greatest Sci-Fi movie of the past 25 years. Second place goes to Blade Runner (The classic).

Personally, I am quite fond of Keanu and am secretly lobbying the Wachowski brothers to make the "Prequel" for the big screen, but they appear to be too busy in pre-production on Speed Racer (Go Speed Racer, Go!).